Aubrey Frentheway Nielsen, pro runner for Saucony, knows what it’s like when the mind races faster than the body. Behind medals and records, she battled anxiety, perfectionism, and sleepless nights—but learned that real strength isn’t control, it’s compassion, acceptance, and showing up anyway.
When the Mind Races Faster Than the Body
There’s a moment every runner knows — standing at the starting line, heart pounding, breath shallow, the quiet before the gun. For most, that moment is adrenaline. For some, it’s anxiety. For Saucony professional runner Aubrey Frentheway Nielsen, it’s both.
From the outside, Aubrey’s story looks like a dream: an All-American career at BYU, a professional contract, and a future defined by potential. But beneath the PRs and podiums was a silent battle — one fought not just with splits and intervals, but with spiraling thoughts, sleepless nights, and the pressure to be perfect.
“I’ve always been an anxious person,” Aubrey shared. “In 8th grade, I would get so nervous before races that I’d silently pray they’d be canceled. Even in high school, I couldn’t eat breakfast on race mornings because I felt so sick with nerves.”
At first, she thought it was normal — part of being a driven athlete. But by college, the anxiety that once fueled her started to take over.
When Anxiety Becomes the Opponent
The transition to college was supposed to be exciting. But for Aubrey, it brought a new kind of pressure.
“I think part of it came from leaving home for the first time,” she said. “I no longer had the safety of my family. Everything felt new — the expectations, the environment, the pressure to prove myself on a competitive team.”
But there was something deeper. “What made it so hard was the pressure to be everything at once — to look a certain way, act a certain way, even be spiritual enough — because I thought that’s what would make me fast,” she explained. “My identity became completely tied to running. What I ate, how I slept, what I wore, even my faith — everything became about performance.”
It’s a trap many high-performing young adults fall into: when your worth becomes conditional on your output.
“I started believing my performance reflected my value as a person,” she said. “If I didn’t race well, I’d wonder if it was because I had too much sugar, didn’t pray hard enough, or didn’t look fit enough.”
By her senior year at BYU, Aubrey’s anxiety had seeped into every corner of her life. “I felt anxious all day, every day,” she recalled. “I couldn’t sleep because my stomach hurt constantly from the stress. The more I tried to control it, the worse it got. I felt helpless, frustrated, and lost.”
💡 Coach’s Note: Many high achievers — athletes, students, professionals — fall into the illusion that control equals calm. But in reality, overcontrol fuels anxiety. Letting go, paradoxically, is where steadiness begins.
When Control Stops Working
Aubrey describes her senior year as the breaking point — and the beginning of a different kind of strength: “I tried to control everything — my thoughts, my food, my sleep — all of it. But anxiety doesn’t listen to control. It listens to compassion.”
The turning point came from an unlikely source: therapy.
“My husband told me I needed to go see someone. I was terrified it would make things worse, but he said if I didn’t go, he’d drag me there himself,” she laughed. “That first conversation changed everything. My therapist told me I wasn’t broken. She said anything learned can be unlearned. Every bad habit around anxiety could be reworked.”
That shift — from shame to curiosity — was liberating. “It didn’t go away overnight, but I finally had hope,” Aubrey said. “Just like an injury, the mind needs rehab too. You have to practice, rest, and repeat. There were days I felt like I went backward, but progress doesn’t have to be linear to be progress.”
Research Insight:
A 2022 study from the Journal of Sport Psychology found that athletes who practiced acceptance-based coping (embracing anxious sensations rather than suppressing them) showed a 34% improvement in performance consistency and a significant reduction in pre-competition distress.
Turning Anxiety Into Awareness
Anxiety still shows up for Aubrey — especially before big races. But her relationship to it has changed. “When anxiety shows up at the starting line, I accept it,” she noted. “I remind myself I can trust the work I’ve put in.”
Rather than fighting her thoughts, she works with them. “The mind is just empty space,” she explained. “If you don’t fill it intentionally, it fills with negativity. I accept the negative thoughts when they come, and then I replace them with proactive cues.”
One of her favorite cues? “‘It’s okay.’ It’s such a simple phrase, but it reminds me that no matter how doubtful or imperfect I feel — it’s okay. I can control what I can, and I can let go of the rest.”
This balance between control and surrender mirrors what psychologists call cognitive flexibility — the ability to adapt thinking patterns in the face of stress. It’s not about having no anxiety, but learning to coexist with it.
The Practice of Letting Go
Over time, Aubrey learned that trying to suppress anxiety only made it stronger. Acceptance, however, gave her room to breathe: “I used to think mental strength meant not feeling anxious. Now I know it means showing up with anxiety — and still doing what you came to do.”
Her mantra before races is grounded, not grand: “All that’s required is to give it your best.”
Those words came from her coach, Ed Eyestone, before one of her best marathons to date. “Even through the anxiety, I know he’ll be proud of me no matter what,” she stated. “That unconditional support lets me run free.”
💬 Coach’s Note: At Strive to Thrive, we teach clients that thriving doesn’t mean never feeling anxious. It means learning to carry discomfort with awareness and grace — to move with the nerves, not against them.
Building a Grounded Routine
Aubrey’s approach to mental health is as intentional as her training plan. After each race, she writes down three strengths and one improvement. “I use those to build my cues for the next race,” she said. “Before I compete, I focus on what I did well last time and one small thing to do better. It keeps me present on the process, not the outcome.”
She also structures her pre-race goals around tasks, not results:
- “I’ll have strong body language at mile four.”
- “I’ll trust my training at mile thirteen.”
- “I’ll make my move at mile twenty.”
This “task-based” approach helps redirect the mind from fear of the future to power in the present — a cornerstone of performance psychology.
The Power of a Support Team
“The people you surround yourself with make such a big difference,” Aubrey emphasized. “My teammates lift me up. My husband reminds me what I’m capable of. My family gives unconditional love. And my coach brings peace.”
Her gratitude for that network is palpable. “Coach Eyestone never overreacts or gets worked up. He focuses on what matters — pacing, effort, execution. I thrive off that. It helps me remember that running is just running. The world won’t end if I have a bad day.”
Redefining Success
When asked how her definition of success has evolved, Aubrey paused. “I used to think success was beating others,” she said. “Then I thought it was beating myself. Now, I think success is the effort you put in and the growth you make — whether that growth shows up on a clock or happens quietly in your heart.”
She spoke softly but with conviction: “There are cameras at every race, timing mats everywhere, photos on every social media page. But none of them show what’s happening inside. No one can see the silent battles you overcome — except you. If I gave my heart everything I had, that’s success.”
To Anyone Struggling with Anxiety
When asked what she’d say to someone who feels like their anxiety makes them “less capable,” Aubrey didn’t hesitate.
“If you feel like your anxiety is holding you back, it’s actually your superpower. It means you care deeply. That energy can become focus, drive, and compassion — if you learn to channel it instead of fear it.”
She continued: “Every big goal I’ve ever set has scared me. Doing something new should be scary. The goal isn’t to eliminate fear — it’s to move with it, one thought at a time.”
Action Steps: How to Thrive With Anxiety
Use these practical tools to help you or someone you coach channel anxiety into awareness and growth:
✅ Recognize the Line: Learn to notice when nerves sharpen focus versus when they start to cloud it.
✅ Accept, Don’t Avoid: Label anxiety for what it is — a normal response — and release judgment.
✅ Use Mental Cues: Create short, repeatable phrases (“It’s okay,” “Stay present,” “Trust the work”).
✅ Reflect After, Not During: Journal after performances — what went well, what you’d improve, what you learned.
✅ Build a Team: Surround yourself with people who bring calm, not chaos.
✅ Prioritize Sleep & Fuel: Anxiety feeds off exhaustion and undernutrition — care for the basics first.
✅ Seek Support: Therapy and coaching are tools of strength, not signs of weakness.
🌱 Coach’s Note: Whether you’re a runner, a parent, or a professional, performance anxiety isn’t a flaw — it’s feedback. It means you’re invested. What matters most is learning to listen to it wisely.
The Bigger Picture: Stillness in Motion
Aubrey’s journey reminds us that thriving isn’t about erasing anxiety — it’s about finding stillness in motion. Her story speaks to athletes, students, and anyone living in a high-pressure world: control less, connect more, and trust that calm doesn’t mean quiet — it means centered.
At Strive to Thrive Coaching, we teach that performance mindset isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence — being grounded enough to handle the highs and lows with clarity, compassion, and courage.
Conclusion: Racing With, Not Against, Yourself
Anxiety will always try to join you at the starting line. But as Aubrey’s story shows, it doesn’t have to lead the race. Through patience, self-awareness, and support, we can all learn to find steady ground — in running, in life, and in the moments when our minds start to sprint ahead.